Just to say . . .

 

I want you all to know that I am so very appreciative of the comments you always leave on my posts, and that I do generally try to respond to each and every one of them. On here, on facebook, on Instagram, etc. My motto has always been if someone has been generous enough to take the time to comment, then I need to be generous enough to respond.  Comments are not always kind however and I usually try to brush the unkind ones off, but today I want to respond to a particularly unkind and insensitive comment which was left on my post on the Knives Expert site on my Roasted Chicken recipe, which said simply:  

“What family? You live alone with your husband.” 

Dear Beccy033, 

Thank you so very much for your comment. How very kind it was of you to remind me that my husband has outlived all three of his children, and that my own children and grandchildren live over 2000 miles away from us.  You sweet words sure gave me the warm and fuzzies.  It also prompted me to think about what it is exactly that constitutes a family.

At its very most basic, a family is the compilation of a group of individuals who share a legal or genetic bond.  It can consist of a very large group of people, or it can be as simple as just two people who live under the same roof, or not, it could be an individual and their cat/dog. Many family members may live outside the actual home, coming together from time to time to celebrate occasions and to just hang out. 

To many people, however,  family means much more than this, and even the simple idea of genetic bonds can be far more complicated than it might seem on the surface.

There are many kinds of families.  I have often heard it said that friends are the family that one gets to choose for themselves.   There are step and blended families, adopted families, foster families, and childless families, all in addition to what might be seen as the so called “normal” family. Some families have two moms or two dads.  Childless families might include pets as their family members.

Essentially, I like to think that a family is composed of individuals and groups of people who share an emotional and spiritual connection, even if they share no legal or genetic bonds.  For example one's “Church Family” may have shared spiritual connections and values, whereas a “Work Family” might share long term relationships based on common experiences and activities, and hopefully . . .  a shared and pleasant work space.

I suppose what I am saying really is that the definition of what constitutes a family is something that is living and breathing,  very fluid and constantly evolving, and it is individual and unique to each of us. Every person can define family in a different way to encompass the relationships they share with the people in their lives, which, over time . . .  can, will and should change as one's life changes, and the importance of family values and rituals deepen.  Basically, every member who is truly considered to be a part of a family will help to make and keep it richer.

So when I choose to gather family around my table for a special meal or lunch, this might sometimes indeed only be my husband and I, or it might include some of the many wonderful people we have chosen to invite to share our lives and occasions with us, and certainly on very choice and rare occasions it might even include some of my own children or extended family members.  The point is, “I” am the one who gets to decide who is and who isn’t a member of my family.  Often, I like to think that my family also consists of the sweet and loyal people who drop by every day to see what I am cooking and share my recipes with me.  I am always happy to see them, and I usually, more often than not, appreciate the kind words they leave for me.  May it be ever so.

And just so you know, whilst I would really like to say you are not invited to dinner, the kind of person that I am would never refuse,  even you  . . . . a place at my table.